Frustrated.

Over time, my blogging habits have matured - I should hope so, considering that I started to blog when I was in 7th grade. In 7th grade, I had a Livejournal, then Xanga, account, and things could get pretty catty/emo. I'm now at a point where I use blogging mostly as a tool to give life updates to friends and family I don't get to see or talk to often. It's been an age and maturity-appropriate exercise for me. For examples, read past posts :)

But tonight, I feel compelled to use this channel to regress to my high schooler self and just say what's on my mind. Unprofessional? Perhaps. Revealing more about my personal thoughts and beliefs on the internet than I have in years? I think so.

Well, now I'm hyping up what I have to say too much. But, since this blog has primarily served as a way to share the "list of cool stuff Carissa did over the past few months" for a while now, I thought this entry required the introduction.

So, I'm frustrated. To the extent that my blessed and grace-filled days feel heavy. Where the sun is out and it's a beautiful 65 degree fall day in Syracuse, and it's hard to appreciate the warm breeze. And it's about these elections. I've been trying to pin-point why politics are taking up so much of my mental space, as they never really have before, and I think I've figured it out: it's the disgusting, blasphemous mix of Christianity and politics that I'm learning more and more about each day. It's making me more and more upset with our political system, with "the Church" at large in the United States, with the citizens of the United States, with the media - with seemingly everyone.

I think the reason I normally don't focus too much on politics is because I have faith in Jesus - because He is the only person or thing worthy of being called "good," and in general, there is no need for me to have anxiety about anything, because the person of Jesus is all I need (Luke 12:22-31). So ultimately, it doesn't matter who is president, because God is the one with the real power and control at the end of the day. This "anxiety-free" Carissa attitude should also apply to job hunts and careers, relationships, money, etc - not just politics. So, I've mostly only been mildly engaged, though very excited and prayerful during the 2008 elections with Obama, who I was a strong supporter of.

But now, as God shapes my life and who I am, a variety of factors has led me to somehow invest a lot of mental energy into this election cycle. First, I've become compelled and convicted about the roles of Christians in the world today - that Christians aren't called to just sit around and wait to "get into heaven," but that we should be loving and serving, that we are truly called to "bring heaven to earth," and that we are supposed to be the hands and feet and ears and mouths of God on earth, as the Spirit lives within us. This is part of what has driven me to attend the Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs and to seek work in the public sector, and to live a life of public service. This is why I spend two nights a week in the Northside of Syracuse to tutor refugees (who, of course, teach me WAY more than I teach them). I LOVE how God is shaping me, I hope, into a better reflection of Christ. Believe me, I know I'm a LONG way off. But, that's the ultimate goal.

So I'm in this position where I want to serve and love people and I think that's a big part of what Christianity is about (as I read Jesus' teachings in the Bible more than the others, I see these are reoccurring themes). At the same time, I'm learning more about more about how government works at school, and learning more about politics through this election cycle. And in my head, my faith journey and what I'm learning about politics and government should be separate. To be clear: I personally believe that faith and government don't mix, simply because Christians are not meant to hold non-Christians to Christian standards. So, then, how can we deny citizens certain rights because they are not Christians? I look at policy completely differently from my personal faith convictions. Faith is taught and preached and shared through relationships and love, not forced by governmental policy.

You may be able to draw this conclusion already, but this is where I pinpoint my anger and frustration: this election cycle, I am so much more informed and aware of how faith is manipulated to win candidates votes. Of course, I've always known about "the religious right," but I didn't know how much strategy there was behind the formation of that movement. I practically shake with anger as issues like abortion and gay marriage paint the picture for America of what Christianity is all about. And how because everything is so polarized, the entire agenda of the right/Republicans/Tea Party/whatever ends up being the "Christian" agenda. It makes me sick to my stomach. It makes my days feel heavy. Because honestly, hearing things like "Right-wing Christians" makes me a hundred times more upset than people saying "Jesus Christ" when they stub their toe. As one of my favorite authors has noted, "Christian is a great noun, terrible adjective."

I'm not going to say that Jesus would be a Democrat, or a liberal, or a pacifist, or anything. Jesus IS awesome, and almighty, and worthy of praise and worship. He is NOT to be labeled as a party member. Nevermind that I do personally think the Democratic Party is more in line with the New Testament than the Republican Party in many ways (the idea of "citizenship" and thinking of what you can do for your country before selfishly thinking only of what your country can do for you). When Mitt Romney kept telling Americans what they "deserve" in his RNC speech, I was repulsed. You are the "Christian" candidate! Don't you know that the only thing we "deserve" is DEATH? But by grace we have been saved?! That EVERYTHING is GRACE. Not that we should complain and whine about how our government does nothing for us...God does EVERYTHING for us!

OK, I'm getting heated at this point. And I'm sure it's ramblish and doesn't make much sense. But I had to get this off my chest. I am a strong Christian, and love Jesus and thank God everyday for grace upon grace upon grace. For saving me. But I REFUSE to align myself with any institution or political party based on my faith. My faith is personal, and God shapes me through His Word and the time I spend talking with him. The fact that so many have their faith shaped by the media, by politicians, by professors, by screwed up churches - it's just showing me how broken everything is. I know I'm broken too. We all are. But the organization of brokenness to supposedly fight for a "good" cause in the name of Jesus? Offensive.

I'm not telling you who to vote for by writing this, and I'm not trying to pick any internet fights. I just needed to say what is on my mind because it's been weighing me down so much, how broken the Church is that thinks Jesus would be OK with the Church promoting policies or candidates. How broken the Church is that focused on anyone other that Christ, and how He shapes us and teaches us.

If you pray, and you've read this whole novel, I do ask for prayer. That God would give me peace in my heart about all of this, but at the same time give me the right kind of passion to fight against blasphemy and injustice.

Signing off,
Carissa

Piglets, Stained Glass and Public Budgeting

So, is it possible to recap the last 4 months of my life, 10 minutes before class starts? And...GO!

In basically chronological order:

• Regina Spektor concert in Philly with Sarah Pragg - a.maz.ing. Really, one of the best concerts I've ever been to, Regina is so talented!
• We've been doing a LOT of archery. Archery in Tully.Archery on Green St. Archery tournaments of MPAs. Joe got me a bow and arrows for my birthday, so what else do you expect? I still stink at it, though. I never aim.
• We made chalkboards for our ladies in Africa to use during literary classes. They are also doing really well, in general, and the piglets are growing big and strong! Woo! 
• Saw DMB with Dawn and H...yay family reunion!
• Caved, bought a Macbook Air...SO happy with it
• Got engaged (see previous post!)
• Finished full-time work at CoE
• LOVE LOVE LOVE my graduate program. Classes I've finished: Public Administration and Democracy, Public Budgeting. Classes taking now: Financial Management for State and Local Government, Intro to Statistics, and Public Organizations and Management. Love the materials, love my classmates, and am so excited for my future career!
• Elected secretary of Students for Tomorrow's Environmental Policy (STEP) - excited for a year of fun activities and pushing the "green" agenda
• Went to Middle Ages Brewery's "Brewfest" instead of working on my budgeting homework, got to dance in the rain while listening to Driftwood (amazing band based out of Binghamton) - one of my "summer-y" moments during the whirlwind
• Mumford and Sons concert with Amy Kate and Holly!!! So awesome, and the venue in Canandaigua was fantastic.
• Enjoyed an amazing wedding of our friends, Jess and Tristian. last names? Knight and Gale. Knight-n-gale Wedding. Can't you tell just from that it was meant to be?
• Made stained glass with my mom. So fun!!
• Got a GA position to help pay a substantial amount of school/health insurance/stipend. God is good. I get to work at Alumni Relations at Maxwell, my supervisor is wonderful and the whole office is a joy to work in. 
• Bought a wedding dress on a whim. For $350. Woot. 
• Fall plans: Sarah visit, possible conference in Phoenix, Hopeprint tutoring 2x a week, and just surviving grad school! Oh, and getting all my Joe time in before he goes to Russia in the spring!

And, the above, in pictures:

Mumford & Sons, post-show

Stained glass, final product

Me & my love at the Knight-n-Gale wedding

Chalkboards in Malawi!

Piglets growing strong!

Where I live. Amazing.

Sarah outside the venue for Regina Spektor!

Making stained glass

Group of ladies at Knight-n-Gale wedding

Ithaca Farmer's Market adventures.

Yes, the photos are out of order. Headed to class!

Signing off,

Carissa

Engaged!

Yes, you read that blog title right! Joe popped the question, and we're engaged!

To be honest, I'm still a little in shock over the whole thing. My big checklist this week included finishing my last day of work at CoE, starting graduate school - I had no idea Joe was going to sneak this in there, too :)

So, we actually got engaged on Wednesday. You may be wondering to yourself, "but now it's SATURDAY!! Why did you take so long to tell us?!" Well, Joe's family was on vacation this week, and we really thought we should tell them the news in person (seeing as how, well, we live with them). So, I called my parents and sister right away, and then only told people I saw in person - since, hey, I AM wearing an engagement ring - and swore them all to secrecy/told them not to say a word on the interwebs. And since they arrived last night, we can finally tell the world. And you all know me, I was eager to write a blog post about it so we could share the news with all our friends and family!

The story goes, as follows: Wednesday was freaking GORGEOUS in Syracuse. 75 degrees, warm breeze. The kind of day that makes it so difficult to work because you literally just want to go outside and frolic in a field somewhere. We knew on Tuesday that 1) it was going to be pretty out, 2) we had two hours to kill after school/work before we went to a game night at our friend Tracy's house, and 3) I had a buy one-get one free coupon to Pita Pit that expired in two days. So we made plans to grab a pita and walk up to the Rose Garden in Thornden Park after work. The park is right next to Syracuse University campus. It looks like this:

I was kind of surprised Joe was up for it, since he still hadn't finished his final paper for his final class in his MPA program, due the next morning at 9AM, but he insisted. I grabbed my camera that morning thinking it would be fun to take pictures in the park. Joe grabbed it first and took some shots:

Then it was my turn. Not too many flowers, since its not season, but a few:

And my handsome boyfriend, with his distinct sense of style.

Right after I took the two pictures above, I sat on his lap and asked, "So, when you're 80, are you going to dress like you're 25?" He laughed, and said, "Do you like my outfit?" And I replied, "I love YOU!"

Then, I got up off his lap to sit next to him, and as I got up, he got down on one knee and proposed. According to Joe, I had a look of utter shock on my face. I'd believe it. It was the last thing I was expecting. All I remember is saying YES as soon as I realized what was what actually, truly happening.  We then asked someone to take a picture of us:

OK, so in addition to the "he proposed after I made fun of his outfit" part of the story, there's another funny part...we had a little debate about which finger the ring went on. I said I was pretty sure it goes on the left (mostly remembering this because my friend Sarah is a lefty, and everyone always noticed her engagement ring because of it), and Joe insisted that he asked three people, and they said it goes on the right. Considering the guy just proposed, I didn't push it. So, we did a bunch of giddy engagement pictures with the ring on the wrong finger :D Only us. Only us. 

The ring. is. gorgeous. It's an emerald set in platinum. The platinum is repurposed, and the emerald is not freshly-mined. A sustainable, and absolutely beautiful, ring. Considering my only instructions were, "no diamond!" he did a pretty fantastic job. 

In the gazebo at the garden was a little stand that we could set the camera on, so we did some cute, and some ridiculously silly, pictures. Example of cute:

Example of ridiculous:

And we hung out in the gazebo a bit more, just soaking in the perfect day, and the excitement of our futures together.

Then, we spent the rest of the night playing Beyond Balderdash, and then Joe wrote a paper until 2AM. :)

God is good, and showers Joe and I with an unbelievable amount of blessings. We are so thankful, and pray to be good stewards of each other, as we are each a precious gift to the other, and that our relationship will, above all else, glorify God and demonstrate God's love. 

Knowing me, I'll probably end up creating a "Carissa & Joe" website pretty soon for all the fun details to come (which, of course, I've had basically no time to think about with the rest of this whirlwind life going on), but stay tuned :)

All is grace,

Carissa

Let the Countdowns Begin!

Perhaps the best way to write this update and show how exciting/nuts the next two months will be is in terms of countdowns:

5 days until my trip to Delaware to visit Sarah...and see Regina Spektor in Philly!
17 days until I head back to Puerto Rico for the internship program I'm helping run for work
34 days until the Dave Matthews Band concert at SPAC w/the Ralbovskys, Dawn and H
46 days until my last day full-time at work
57 days until I start graduate school at the Maxwell School at Syracuse University

On top of that, some other fun things from the past couple of months:

• I've started a new "Healthy Carissa Plan" where I have a grid of things I'd like do get done each week (floss 7 times, drink 8 glasses of water 7 times, run 2 times, prayer/worship 7 times, etc.) and I cross them off whenever I get them done. As a huge "to-do" list junkie, it's working pretty well for me - I get the satisfaction of crossing something off the list without the pressure to do each at a certain time that I scheduled. As a result, this week I've flossed every day (big deal for me!), ran twice, done strength training twice, and drank 8 glasses of water for 6 out of the 7 days. We'll see if I can keep it up, considering the list above. But, I'm not going to put too much pressure on it and hope that the satisfaction of getting things done will continue to be motivating, even with a busy schedule :)
• Times in Tully have included DnD until 6AM (I actually stayed up the whole time!), amazing productions of Jekel and Hyde and Romeo and Juliet, and enjoying gorgeous weather this weekend.
• I have actually made time to read lately! I read the first Hunger Games book in one sitting and saw the movie a couple of days later, and then read The Hobbit again to prep for the movie coming out this year. It's been nice to read for fun before grad school starts.
• My birthday was fun - Joe got me a bow and arrows so I can hone my inner Katniss, and we watched The Muppets movie. The big 2-5. Time flies.
• Excellent times with friends have included a Newsies night, lunch and post-work dates with Martha and Brenda, and Father Ted and CInco De Mayo shindigs with our Green St. friends.
• I won GreeningUSA's "Member of the Year" award, and that was a very cool honor to receive! 
• I spent Easter with Gabe and the fabulous Romano family and was so blessed by them!! Also got to explore Elm Wood Park for the first time - love how the city of Syracuse continues to surprise me.
• Once again, had an amazing time at the Local Leaders conference we host in the Adirondacks each April, and it made me very excited to go to grad school and plan to work in government. 

Not so fun update was the whirlwind of taking my dad to the hospital when I was visiting Long Island last month to find out he had a pulmonary embolism (blood clots in the lungs) - he was in the ICU for a few days, but is on the road to recovery now. Thanks to all who were in-the-know on that for your love and support during our crazy time!

That's it from me!! I am so excited for all the awesome things happening over the next two months, and really can't wait to start grad school...life is good! Thanks as always for reading and caring about my life :)

Signing off,
Carissa

My. Life. Is. Blessed.

Here is a list of major awesome things that have happened to me that I felt like I urgently needed to write out because so much has happened at once:

• I was accepted into the Maxwell School of Citizenship at Syracuse University for a master's in public administration (MPA)! Haven't heard about a financial package yet, but this is a HUGE honor - it's the top MPA program in the country.
• I moved out of my apartment! As soon as I got into grad school, I realized i would need to start saving money, so I decided to move into the quasi-apartment that Joe's parents have in their house in Tully. It is ridiculously generous of them to have me there, and I'm excited to live in the country (Tully is a farm town 20 minutes south of Syracuse), hang out with his little sister, take care of the dogs, and have a dishwasher. I found someone to sublet my apartment and moved out in one weekend (special shout-out to Joe, Bill, Brad and Hannah for getting my mattress out for me on Friday) - it all happened very fast. Why? Because...
• Right now, I'm in Puerto Rico! I just finished the big training program for my 40 college student interns down here, who are working on compost and recycling education across the island. Now I've got a few more days of meetings, and am blessed to have a few hours to relax now on Sunday. Many of you know this has been a VERY stressful project for me, because of all the logistics, and I was losing some sleep - but it was all worth it. The students were AMAZING, and so inspiring. I'm completely recharged from all of their energy and enthusiasm. Also fun, I'm quoted in some Puerto Rico newspapers, and you can find me in this news clip.
  
  
  Me with Cornell Waste Management staff, and the Mayaguez team
  
  
  The whole team at the IFCO recycling facility in Caguas
  
  

Here is a list of less major but also awesome things that have happened to me that I would just like to mention here:

• In January, I went to the Northeast Organic Farming Assocation's annual conference, and it was the best event I've had to exhibit at and travel to for work. Organic farmers are AWESOME, and it didn't hurt that Joe's best friend growing up's family was honored as the NOFA farmers of the year. It solidified that I would love to help support resilient rural communities as part of my future job.
• I found a new dentist and LOVE him - even if I had to get 3 cavity fillings fixed, and 6 very small ones filled. All in two months.
• One of my favorite people in Syracuse, Holly, has started working across the street from me, which has resulted in wonderful lunch dates, which make me VERY happy.
  
• Joe and I made new friends, Brenda and Andrew, and we play cribbage together. Amazing.
• Telephone pictionary with our Green St. neighbors was the most I've laughed in a while. I think it should be a requirement to play that game once a month, at least.
• Joe and I won three out of the four quarters of the Superbowl pool. We gave our $50 of winnings to my twin cousins.
  
• At Hopeprint, everyone has been very encouraging and saying I'm a wonderful teacher, and my students ask me to come more than 1 day a week because I am one of their favorite teachers. It makes me smile a lot and feel like I'm really making a difference with them.
  
• I am really excited about the new DnD game that Mike is running - I'm a wood elf with a ridiculously awesome shot. Though I still role a ton of 2s and 3s and miss hitting all the creatures trying to eat us.
  
• I finally used my crockpot! I made chili, and it was delicious.
• Joe got me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day, sent to the office. It was so sweet and made me feel really special - I can't get over that I really found someone as wonderful as he is.
  
• I am slowly starting to set-up a freelance communications business to grab any communcations work I can do to help pay for grad school - it's called Shoreline Outreach Services. Website coming soon :-)
• My mom visited the weekend before I moved out of my apartment, and we had SUCH a nice time together! We hung out and watched movies, made chicken soup, went to Missio - it was so nice to get mommy-daughter time. Now I'm waiting for my dad to visit, too!
• I decided for lent to give up one hour/day to spend time with God. It was awesome during all the craziness of moving out of the apartment and packing for Puerto Rico to still make time to open my bible, play guitar and sing worship songs, and just make God the center of my life and my time, instead of all the other distractions circling around me. It's been hard to do in Puerto Rico, but I'm going to do some kind of day-long retreat during Lent to make up the hours I've lost while working...I'm really excited for it.

Phew. I told you, right? When I get back from PR, I'll be waiting to hear from UVa and Cornell, start grad school visits, start to transition out of my current role at my job, get used to commuting, and really focus on Lent. 2012 couldn't be getting off to a better start (yes, I know I'm saying that and it's March.)

Though, I'm still pretty sad about the lack of snow this year...global climate change really is a scary thing. Hopefully I'll go home and get some sledding in!

Signing off,
Carissa

That's a Lady Gaga Song? I Thought It Was Madonna...

2011 has come and almost gone. What a year! While in past years I have had about 20 posts a year (and goodness, in high school, more like 5 posts a week), this year was summarized by 6, including this one. Instead of being on my computer, I've been out and about - and it's been a good thing. It's funny that this time last year, I wrote a wish that 2011 would calm down - instead, I decided to go to Africa, apply to grad school, take classes, tutor refugees, and take on more responsibility at work. Not that any of that is much of a surprise to anyone who has met me. I can't be stopped!

Every year around New Year's Eve, I do two things: I write up a "101 Things About Me" list, and I fill out a survey about the past year. Last year, I decided to not do the 101 things about me list, and perhaps just start to do it every few years, or when the mood strikes - it's very interesting to see how much the list changes, but it's definitely an effort to sit down and think of 101 random facts about yourself. Now this year, I think I'm over writing the survey as well. It revolves around favorite movies, music, parties, and experiences from the year - and, well, as an adult, it feels like my life doesn't revolve around those things anymore. And I don't say that like I'm getting old and don't go out or listen to music - but I also don't stay on top of every new album by my favorite artists like I used to, I barely remember the titles of movies I've seen (though, the Muppet movie WAS awesome), and I don't really consider my social life "parties" as much as just getting together with good friends on a regular basis. So, my teenager-esque blogging has in some ways come to an end. Which, at this point, not many will care about.

My biggest focus this past year (and I hope in the year to come, too) has been on relationships - about loving people, meeting people, making time for people, serving people, reconnecting with people, learning from people - and while sometimes that happens at a concert or while watching "My Cousin Vinny," the PEOPLE are what's important. I know I dropped the music industry thing years ago because I didn't care about celebrities, and now I find that as I grow up, I am shifting my priorities away from pop culture more and more. This is still weird for me sometimes - as I was the one who knew the words to EVERY song on the Total Request Live top 10 as a teenager - from Limp Bizkit to Eminem to Backstreet Boys - and now I don't even know Lady Gaga songs. I used to go to 15+ concerts a year, and now I barely make it to high school musicals in Tully. I only watch 3 TV shows, and I'm a season behind on two of them. And I'm the one who studied mass communications and music industry in college.

Sometimes, I don't like how out-of-touch I am with pop culture, because I used to strive to be a pop-culture champ. But as I sit here and think about how much I've grown up - I'm happy that I'm shifting away from it. I am most reassured about this when I remember that many of the people I have admired most throughout my life have been practically CLUELESS about 99% of the pop culture references made around them. I'm only realizing now that this is one of the common threads between all of them. The less brain space and time spent on pop culture, the more brain space and time I have for going for a hike, writing a random "thinking of you" note, practicing the piano, and praying. So, I have no goals of watching the top 15 classic movies I've never seen, or finding new music to like - and I'm going to feel at peace about being "behind" instead of wondering if I should spend a month watching "24" because everyone talks about how amazing the show was. And while I love that I was obsessed with music growing up - it's OK that I missed seeing Brand New and Taking Back Sunday in Huntington both times I was home this winter. I'm not 16 anymore, and that's a good thing - for me, anyways.

It's been an amazing year. I am so in love with my boyfriend, and feel so blessed every morning when I wake up and remember that I have met "the one," and he is a wonderful, creative, hilarious, talented, smart, loving, and ridiculously handsome man. I have been blessed to travel to Africa and meet women who remind me everyday what is important in life, and see God to be much bigger and much closer than I had realized before. I have a job that doesn't only not suck, but also has helped me figure out what I want to do with my career. The list could go on and on.

Also, as a recap - since I last posted, fun stuff in my life has included:

• Going to Harvest Fest with some of my favorite people in Syracuse: Gabe, her fabulous mom, and Laura
• Seeing the fantastic Binghamton-bred band Driftwood at Al's Wine and Whiskey Bar, which refreshed my soul because live music makes me really happy, AND I got to hang out with my neighbor Elly.
• Going to the homecoming football game with the one and only Lauren Knisely, while also running into Scroggy and other blasts from the past. The brief run-in with my Flat 8 girls was great, too.
• The Hope Gala fundraiser for Hopeprint
  
• Dates with both Ralbovsky sisters
• Liz's birthday celebration at Bittersweet, and Joe's birthday celebration watching him play Skyrim while being post-surgical
• Finishing all my grad school applications: Maxwell School at Syracuse for an MPA, and Cornell and UVa for City and Regional Planning. We'll see what happens next!
• Amazing date night with Joe: got dressed up (!), awesome dinner at the Genesee Grande, and the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe at Syracuse Stage
  
• Lots of holiday parties with very new friends, old friends, and very old friends
  
• A lovely time on Long Island visiting family and enjoying sleeping in

In 2012, my hope is to continue to let go of past expectations of myself, and feel free to be the person I am now, and not the person I used to wish to want to be. I hope to accomplish what many hope to accomplish: eat healthier, cook more, exercise more, spend more time with God, don't sweat the small stuff, etc. But mostly, I think I'm not going to set any real goals - as much as is possible for the plan-oriented Carissa, let's see where life takes me.

signing off,
Carissa

10 Years Ago, I Was in High School

This morning, I was trying to remember how long ago it was that the movie Miss Congeniality came out - mostly because an awesome MPA student from Hungary was indeed Ms. Congeniality for her Halloween costume (aka a prom dress, aviator glasses, and an FBI badge), and I figured I must have been about 14 years old, which would have been 10 years ago. Then it hit me...10 years ago, I was in high school. Sure, I was just starting out, but still!

So it's funny when I actually have a free afternoon to relax, clean the house, and look at Facebook for 30 minutes when I start exploring where people from high school are. For the people I'm not too close with (and really never was), it's just kind of interesting. But for my actual friends, it always makes me kind of sad, because I have to use the internet to find out big things about peoples lives. That I had a friend who's dad passed away a few months ago, and I never knew about it. That I have friends who have gone back to grad school and aren't even on Long Island anymore. I know it's my own fault, that life is too busy to live in every world - to stay up with every relationship, from family to high school friends to college friends to post-college friends...it's impossible. My goodness, I haven't even spoken to my own sister in months! But just because times goes on and I'm farther away and I don't get to call, doesn't mean that I stopped caring about those people, you know? I think most people are much better than I am at just accepting the fact that in our lives, we grow up and move on and find ourselves in new places and new relationships.

This all goes to say that, if you are my friend, and you haven't heard from me in a while - I still care about you, a lot, and sincerely pray that life is full of blessings. And I'm really thankful for the part you had to play in making me the person I am today.

So...there's the sappy part of this entry.

As for life updates...as usual, it's been full. Here's the list:

• From August to the first week of October, I either traveled or had to work basically every weekend. It made me cranky.
• The end of those travels was going to Toronto for Greenbuild, and I randomly got to see Maroon 5, second row. It was fun to be at a concert like that, it's been a really long time for me. I was less cranky.

• Buying a new mattress is very expensive. That made me cranky again.
• I ran the LaFayette Apple Run and got free apple cider, AND won the raffle for a Fleet Feet gift certificate. Less cranky.
• I don't feel like doing the cranky/not cranky theme anymore.
• Joe and I are on a intramural volleyball team with a bunch of real volleyball players (ie girls who played volleyball throughout college) - it is SO fun to plan on a team, even just for practice one night a week. I think we get to start games next week. Woot!
  
• This fall, I have a full schedule: bible study Monday nights, Citizen's Academy on Tuesday nights (8-week class where I learn about how local gov't works), refugee GED prep on Wednesday nights, and an SU class on conflict management on Thursday nights. Then, when I get home between 8 and 9:30PM on those nights, I work on grad school applications. I'm trying to find a balance between working on my relationship with God and serving/loving people (which, for the record, is what I think I'm actually supposed to focus on in my life), while also trying to figure out what I want to do with my career. The result is a very busy Carissa who never really quite feels like she's doing a great job at anything. You'd think Malawi would have taught me to take it easy, and there's no point in trying to be superhuman. We'll see if I ever learn. At least God is good and keeps me going through all of my overextended efforts.
  
• I LOVE tutoring refugees. They know adjectival clauses better than I do. What the...
  
• Grad school apps are going in to Cornell, Syracuse, and University of Virginia. Cornell/UVa for City & Regional Planning degrees, Syracuse for Public Administration.
• Tully Fall Fest = awesome.

• Went to an awesome Gillian Welch concert in Ithaca last week...there was no opener, just pure amazingness from Gillian and Dave Rawlings for 2.5 hours. That's how all concerts should be.

• For Halloween, Joe and I went as William Adama and Kara Thrace. Of the three parties we went to, NO ONE got the Battlestar Galactica outfits. Sad face.

Also, I made pumpkin bread from real pumpkins. Twice. I think that sums up how I am awesome at autumn.

Also, first time I've carved a pumpkin in at least 5 years:



Signing off,
Carissa